Well that's done it!!

No turning back now...I just booked the Three Wishes Fairy Festival, so barring total disaster, we will be going!!!

Three Wishes 2016!!!!!!!!

Marginalisation, Racism and Exclusion - The politicisation of Beauty

Well that did not take long.  A mere few hours after I posted the link yesterday about this Tumblr with a nice diversity of women on it, this asshat from FB posted this reaction to the picture of this girl.

that chick not look like the woman or people of the Tolkien universe, because she is like black people, her nose and mouth and hair are of black people, this is not a matter of racism, maybe some people thing like this but is not, everyone that read any thing of tolkien universe will realise that is a white people saga, and that is the truth, in Japan there are samurai saga´s and are extraordinary, in China also like the tales of Monkey King and the ancient Emperors and many sagas that are extraordinary also, in Africa there are a lot of heroes and tales about black people like Shaka Zulu and other and are very good, so why white people not have their own extraordinary saga? this is not a matter of racism, I hope that understand the point

Yes dude I understand your point and yes your point IS a matter of racism.

And every single time someone says 'this is not YOUR story, your Elves, YOUR Princesses'...you are marginalising people and that is racist.

Here is a Fairytale for you.

Once upon a time, there was a young black girl living with relatives in a quiet little suburb where nothing much happened.  But once in a while, a marching band came by, the band was very colourful, with their silver Uniforms and their big tasselled hats, but what stood out to the girl was the amazing Majorette who led the band and her awe inspiring twirls of the baton.  "Auntie, Auntie, can 'I be a Majorette?  Please?????"   She asked her Aunt, with all the hope of youth and innocence about what it actually entailed.
"No, they don't let black people do that"  Said her Aunt, with all the authority one would expect from an adult who grew up in a different time.

Was this the American South under Jim Crow?  No, it was London in the 80's and I have no doubt  there was no colour bar with the marching band, it was just black people simply did not do it, not that they were not ALLOWED to but of course, I believed her.

Sadly my aunt who said that has passed away and with her passing goes any opportunity to discuss that issue with her and the effect it might have had on my confidence to feel that I could do anything I wanted to do.  But that is just what the expectations were for them, you just couldn't do everything you wanted to because "they" would not "let" you in. It killed that dream.  How many other girls have dreams crushed like that?  How many well meaning adults are still crushing dreams?

Exclusion, it is a subtle form of racism but so insidious, how many little girls thought they couldn't be Princesses because of it?  How many didn't look like Cinderella or Rapunzel so thought they looked stupid in the dress because they had the wrong skin colour?  Of course we now have Tiana, Tiana is ours.  So WHY would we EVER want to dress like Cinderella EVER!!!!  Don't you know we were kind enough to make Tiana for you???

So here I am Elficising myself (Yes I just made it up) and of course overjoyed for anything that I can be inspired by, that page was heavensent and then someone had to go and diss it, because they woman was not white.  Also devaluing her by not even referring to her as a girl or a woman but a 'chick' and pointing out her black features to other her even more.

I am just so grossed out by people sometimes.

But maybe there is hope for the future?

*sob* I feel excuded

Or maybe I am taking some things too seriously?

I am only subscribed to three vintage bloggers only one of whom is a fellow Brit, it is a small vintagely world and I am so glad not to feel alone in it.

Yesterday her video was about something that I have a lot of experience in so I was excited to watch and finally got to comment, I was the first one to comment too. Yay!!!  I actually know something.

When I clicked back to read up on some of the messages later on, I noticed that, she had responded to every other comment but mine.  ;o((  I feel Mean Girl-d!

I think I have felt it more because I actually really identified with her on this issue, I have the exact same issue and it is something that bothers me so, knowing that I am not alone made me feel SO happy. 

Also, it reminds me of all those bloody events I have been to alone where they have there little clique and the organisers make no effort to even smile to a newbie.  I went to one event, organised by a well known Vintage group and one of the girls in that group, sat on a chair, facing the stalls, I smile at her and she looked at me as if I was an alien and turned to her friends to talk. 

Really it is hard going out there, especially as a single woman without friends already in, or willing to go with you.  You are constantly fretting about your look and whether you might be judged for not looking  "right" and judge for not looking vintage enough, hair not right, clothes not right, "Is she wearing modern shoes?"

It is not anyone else's responsibility to make me feel more secure of course, but I just wish people would be a little more courteous.

When tradition and worldview collide.....

It would be fair to say that most of the people I know are not religious and yet they are the most ardent celebrants of that most Christian Festival of Jesus's birth.
Now I am not going to discuss how to have a splendid vintage Hanukkah or some such, that was already covered by our lovely Glamorous Vintage Housewife, Bethany over on her blog

(As an aside, I really do appreciate how much more they incorporate a Holiday 'Season' that includes other religions, over here we don't really have that and sadly, that means a lot less appreciation of diversity. )

But  instead I am going to talk about how my deep seated Victoriana self is triggered at Christmas, let it just be known that there isn't a version of 'A Christmas Carol' that I have ever missed!  This season to me speaks of Plum puddings, wood fires, parlour games by candlelight, and, of course lovely, lovely Victorian frocks.

When my daughter was little, we took her to the Rochester Dickens Festival that happens every year, I went dressed up in my rather proper green bonnet, green velveteen jacket (with black trim) and Campbell (I think) Tartan skirt (hooped petticoats).  I was disappointed by the half hearted costumes by some of the locals but I must admit that most people were very well dressed!  I even met three lovely Rochester ladies when I was running my Victorian group.

So what happens when you love THE most traditional of Christmas imagery but do not celebrate it yourself?

I still have not found the best way to handle this conundrum, but until I find it, I will just keep enjoying my Dickensian scenes

And enjoy whichever new version of A Christmas Carol I happen to come across every year!!

Another elephant in the room*

Dietrich - the sexiest genderqueer ever!

Patsy Kelly - very out

In this post you will find pictures of beautiful talented women from the Golden Age of Hollywood, women at their peak in the 30's, 40's,50's, an era that we laud in the Vintage scene.

Garbo

These women are the ones known to be women who love(d) women, there are many more, some like Agnes Morehead never really admitted it or some, like Joan Crawford, Barbara Stanwyck or even Hattie McDaniel  were only rumoured, we will never know, they are long dead. Louise Brooks openly admitted sleeping with many women, but she claimed  curiosity, and did not believe she was bisexual.

Brooks - enjoyed women but only in bed

 But they were like I am a woman who loves women, I identify as bisexual because I love men too.  As a person who has spent so much time in the LGBT accepting Poly/Geek/Kink communities, I think I have forgotten what it is like to seem exotic and weird in other scenes, especially one I closely identify with as a part of my nature, never in my life have I ever felt attached to the era I live in, my imaginary life has been filtered through an historical aesthetic, forever!!

Bankhead - fabulously wild....

DaCosta

However I have been made aware that the vintage scene may not be entirely comfortable with my sexuality and that worries me, not only for my need to be completely open in this scene, but also just because it almost invalidates the lives and experiences these amazing women had

All B's- Baker, Black, bisexual, burlesque and beautiful....

Eva Le Gallienne

. It makes them invisible again, by pretending that the past was entirely heterosexual (and white, middle class and Christians) 

Lilyan Tashman - Jewish and Gay

I never really expected to be some sort of sexuality trailblazer in any scene, it was a pain enough to feel like some sort of token ethnic in reenactment, I don't want to be a token, I just want to be me, in the same way that people who have majority privilege get to be themselves without having to worry that people will turn their nose up at them or not befriend them.

Bessie Smith

Since the past equally belongs to us, well so does the Vintage communities that celebrate it.





*I wrote another Elephant in the room post in a Poly blog

Ladies who do tea..........and not wanting to be vulgar about it

I am a little bit paranoid but do re-establishing the idea of visiting cards seem OTT to anyone? I don't want to be thought of as pretentious or vulgar. I just thought that when I am ready to meet people it would be nice to give them a card, separate and distinct from my business card (which I do pass out on business meets) but I don't want anyone I meet socially to think that I am also fishing for business.  I think the idea of calling cards is quite lovely, they can have just some swirling decoration on it but with your name also, of course, originally they did not have your address on it, but today it would make sense to have some other kind of contact detail on there so people can get back to you if they want to maintain some contact. 

One of the reasons I wanted to do this is because I thought it might be nice to also re-establish, afternoon tea  as a practice to entertain myself (I love to bake) and also to meet people and encourage me to socialise a bit.  I don't know how it will fit around my work hours because the early afternoon is usually when we work but perhaps something can be done.  To be honest we only have free time between 9am -2:45pm so I don't have all the time in the world for it and I really can't entertain in my indulgent old fashioned way with the children at home.

I am aware that I come across as a terrible eccentric and I suppose that I am, but I have not had this sort of opportunity before so I just want to catch it.